Unasked Questions

Do you know anyone who has actually ever won an Instagram raffle? You know the ones where you tag your friends in the comments & then have to post to your own IG story as well (and it’s kind of embarrassing to do both, but you do so anyway because you like free things…)?  Until a few days ago – I think my answer would be “no” but… hey look here who won an Instagram raffle – ME!

I won a training program from “Muscles on the Move” – a fellow #vanlife couple that specializes in creating workout plans for vanlifers like myself. The workouts are all bodyweight based (with the option to purchase women-owned Arena resistance bands) & can be done at a campsite, park, Planet Fitness, wherever! And their programming is just 3 times a week. So, between the total flexibility of your location + the cadence of the workouts: it’s really conducive to #vanlife. Cool – huh?!

What I did NOT realize is that their programming also includes a meal plan. Which is especially cool because I’ve been getting pretty burnt out on my lack of creativity when it comes to van meals. So, someone else telling me what to cook came at the perfect timing. Though what I ALSO did NOT realize is that although I made sure to list “vegetarian” under dietary preferences/restrictions – what I failed to foresee was that I should list that I need a treat (ice cream, Swedish fish, a cookie) at least daily & would also like a few beers sprinkled into my meal plan as well…

Is it too late to ask for that?

Will they judge me?

What happens if I’m parked outside a delicious looking donut shop (currently happening right now) & am plotting what donut to order tomorrow morning? Can I sub my tofu/strawberry smoothie for a raised donut? What about ½ a raised donut? A donut hole?

(Spoiler alert: chances are I won’t ask & I’ll either cheat or stick 100% to their plan because I’m a rule follower at heart. (Most likely I’ll cheat & pretend I didn’t.))

(Spoiler alert #2: ^^ that is absolutely what happened between me drafting this & now publishing it…)

ALTHOUGH they did ask me to send before/after pictures for a testimonial. And so now I feel like I have to make them proud – especially since I WON this program & don’t even have to pay for it… The pressure!! So, maybe I’ll cut down my treat consumption by like… half? Is that fair?

I should probably just ask them, shouldn’t I….

Anyway. I feel like me & my timid, don’t-rock-the-boat self have a history of not asking questions that I want to. Here are a few that come to mind:

Things I want to ask people but don’t:

The barista:

  • Where is the trash can? (Never mind. I’ll just continue to hold the banana peel I brought in mistakenly thinking there’d be a trash can within reach).
  • Can I please have a napkin?
  • I actually said “no” to the cream/sugar, could I please get another cup? (*disclaimer: I actually did fill out a review for a coffee shop where this happened (& 100% blamed myself in the review for not speaking up or being clear…) But – I have yet to confront a barista in-person about this.))

The car mechanic:

  • What does any of what you just said actually mean? (What is the weight of my oil?! I only know how to regurgitate the words “full synthetic” – I didn’t know I had to know the weight too..??!)
    • Tangent: even though this question got asked there, I actually had a really great oil change experience at the Big O Tires in Bentonville, AR. The technician made a special note to not roll my windows down like they normally do (so that TJ wouldn’t escape.) He also came in to ask me if the noise would be too loud for TJ & Mya <3
  • K but like do I NEED to get any of that done, and what are the implications of NOT doing that? (Never mind. Here’s my credit card.)

The sophomore college student whose dorm I got to stay in while I was a visiting HS senior

(note: also applicable when staying a friend’s house)

  • Do you have an extra blanket?
  • What’s the wifi password?
  • Could I please borrow a towel so I don’t have to use the hand dryers to dry off my body after I shower? (This actually wasn’t as cumbersome as you’d think. And I actually did end up going to the school where this happened. Go Green!)

My doctor:

  • Why are my hangovers are SO BAD? Like without fail they are worse than any of my friends’ & it’s not fair.
  • Is this new little freckle on my shoulder cancerous? I know it’s little but it’s kinda raised up? (I actually did muster up the courage to ask this & she giggled at me & told me not to worry about it. (Soooo, jokes on her – that made me feel like an idiot & now I’ll probably never ask anything ever, THANKS!))

The person I met up with on Craigslist/KSL to purchase whatever they had listed:

  • Would you accept a lower price for this?
  • I’m actually not going to purchase this, thank you. (Not a question, but by the time I actually meet up with someone I usually feel too guilty to have wasted their time to NOT purchase whatever their selling… )

My therapist:

  • K but like do you actually think I’m funny, or are you obligated to laugh?
  • I know you said I could text you but is it ok if I send you TikToks? (They’d all be RELEVANT!)

The readers of this blog:

  • Is this actually interesting for you, or are you just being supportive?
    • Actually don’t answer that. It’s been fun for ME to write & THAT IS WHAT MATTERS.

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